Yes, you are.
I have no idea what the statistics are but there are thousands upon thousands of women starting up a new business every day. Women who have decided to act upon their dreams of working for themselves, staying at home with their families, earning money on their terms and working their own defined hours.
Some have a product to sell. Others have services to offer but more often than not, beneath whatever it is they’re selling is a message they want to share. A message that will help, encourage or inspire their customers or clients in some way.
Among many of them are women who consider themselves to be introverted and if you’re reading this post, it’s likely to be the case that you consider yourself to be one of them.
So do I.
I have introvert qualities too, although not to the same degree as someone who ends up completely exhausted after being in a noisy, busy environment for a short amount of time. I don’t necessarily feel physically exhausted so quickly but often can’t wait for things to quieten down or to rush back home and be alone.
So you’re in good company here.
But maybe you don’t feel that way because that elephant in the room can’t be ignored. I just told you you’re selfish so the last thing you’re going to be feeling right now is as though the company here at The Confidence Haven is in any way good.
How can it be when i’m putting you and myself down for our introverted qualities? Let me explain.
The words aren’t actually coming from me at all. I’m simply repeating what I heard someone else say whilst I was listening to a podcast. Just like the blog about overcoming shyness I mentioned reading a few weeks ago, this podcast was also about how someone overcame her shyness.
Again, this person used the word ‘shyness’ and ‘introvert’ interchangeably which tells us that many people are still getting the two mixed up thinking that one means the other. It’s only over the last two or three years that even i’ve come to learn that it really isn’t the case – I too thought both words meant exactly the same thing.
If you still believe that the two words mean the same thing, take a look at an in-depth post over on Introvert Dear, once you’ve finished reading this one. It answers the question ‘What is an introvert?’ It will tell you everything you need to know.
But why would this person call us selfish just because we’re on the introverted side?
Considering that she believed that being an introvert means holding back, worrying endlessly about what people think of you and hiding away, it stands to reason that she would call them out as selfish.
It’s her way of pointing out that they’re making everything too much about themselves. Their message is bigger than themselves so her aim is to get them to focus on helping others and not worry about how they come across to everyone.
It’s her way of ‘shaking’ them and waking them up. So yes, you are being selfish if you’re holding back, according to the podcaster.
But no, i’m not going to call you selfish. In fact, i’ve never thought of it as being selfish, more like struggling to deal with different types of fears and concerns, that’s all. It’s not as if you’re doing it intentionally.
Having said that, it doesn’t matter whether you’re a shy, or introverted woman who’s holding back. If you’re holding back from sharing your message, there might be some work to do in three specific areas.
So forget about feeling selfish (and therefore bad) about not putting yourself ‘out there’, that’s not going to help you move forward. Focus on these three areas I talk about towards the end of this post and do it in your own way, in your own time.
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