It’s Not About You – It’s About Them

Don’t care.

Don’t care what others think of you. Just be yourself, that’s when you’ll be at your happiest.

It makes sense in your head. On an intellectual level, yes, you absolutely get it. Be yourself, be yourself, be yourself. You might even FEEL the weight lifting off your shoulders as you imagine yourself actually letting go.

The words strike you at your core and linger in your mind as you imagine the freedom you’d feel if you just did it… if you were just you.

If you could just be you, all day every day? Yes, yes YES.

But despite the excitement of what being yourself would mean and the changes you’d feel within yourself, they’re just words. Words can mean everything and nothing at the same time.

Nothing, especially if you don’t ACT on them. But easier said than done, as the saying goes. Who cares how many times you think it. Who cares how many times you say it. Who cares how much you believe it.

It’s the actual implementation of the words that’ll do the trick but what will everyone say? What will they think of you? How will they respond? Maybe they’ll think you’re acting weird. Maybe they simply won’t like it and won’t be ashamed to say so.

Maybe, they won’t like you.

If you want to ‘be yourself’, remember it’s not about you, it’s about them.

Of course you care what people think. You want to hear their thoughts – their opinions. That’s ok and they may very well have your interests at heart but who are you?

A grown adult who’s not out to hurt anyone. It’s not as if you’re trying to be a rebel and wreak havoc in the lives of your nearest and dearest. You just want to do what’s true for you. What’s right for you. No meanness, no selfishness.

Just more happiness.

So if anyone takes offense at you wanting to ‘do’ you, it’s not about you, it’s about them.

But if being all-out YOU is too much, how about playing with it? How about sharing a smidgen of yourself whenever you see fit? No pressure needed.

A splash of you here.

A dose of you there.

You get to decide where. You get to choose when.

And then… manage your expectations. In other words, don’t expect people to react in a specific way. Don’t expect people you’ve known for a long time to like it. Don’t expect everyone to be on your side when they see those little parts of you that they’ve, maybe, never seen before.

The parts of you that they never realised were there and in some cases, wished they weren’t there.

Your expectations may work out but don’t bet on them. Expect the unexpected whilst you play. A (real) bit of you here and a (real) bit of you there.

Dish it out freely or sparingly – YOU get to be in control.

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