If you’re reading this or if you’ve spent any time around The Confidence Haven, It’s likely that you consider yourself a shy, quiet and/or reserved woman.
There’s also a chance that you see that or those sides of yourself as a bit of a problem, especially if you’ve held back a lot over the years.
Held back from speaking up
Held back from asking questions
Held back from sticking up for yourself
Held back from relaxing and enjoying yourself
Held back from making conversation…
Whatever you’ve held back from doing, you may have blamed that particular side of yourself over and over again. Maybe even wishing you weren’t that way but what if I told you that your shyness or quietness or reserved-ness isn’t a bad thing as much as you think it is?
What if I told you that there are some good things about being that way that you probably haven’t even thought about?
Now, before you chime in with something along the lines of ‘I don’t think so. My fill-in-the-blank has held me back for YEARS – there’s nothing good about that!”, let me tell you what really is GOOD about you and the way you are:
You’re like an exciting present waiting to be ‘opened’.
Who doesn’t like a present? Very few if any.
Most people are delighted to receive a beautifully wrapped gift. It doesn’t have to be wrapped up but it certainly adds to the fun and excitement…
What goodies are inside?
What exciting treat awaits?
Now just imagine though, that same present they’ve just been given has a few layers of wrapping.
Some people will get annoyed as they keep peeling away layer after layer. They just want to get to the goodies and don’t want to be faffing about with lots and lots of unnecessary gift paper but for others, it will add to the anticipation – they’ll love it.
When it comes to you, those patient enough will see you as a present… a gift. They’ll take their time to ‘peel away the layers’ – not literally of course – but in the sense of taking their time to get to know you bit by bit, little by little. They won’t get all impatient and try to force you into revealing everything about yourself in the quickest amount of time.
Those now-now-now people aren’t for you.
For the patient ones, getting to learn more about you and see the real you will be their present. YOUR gift to THEM.
You’re probably a discreet person
You’re quite adept at keeping things to yourself.
Ok, it might mainly be because you’ve felt as though you couldn’t or shouldn’t say whatever it is you’ve wanted to say over the years but this behaviour has helped you hone your ability to be watchful about what you say and don’t say.
If anyone wants someone they can trust and with whom they can share private information they would like to stay private, they could probably rely on you.
That doesn’t mean you now have to let everyone dump all of their heavy stuff on you if that’s not what you want but if they’re looking for someone they can trust, that’s you!
You’re more understanding of other people’s struggles
Because of the challenges you’ve encountered over the years and the way people have treated you or spoken to or about you (or about shy/quiet women in general), you now have empathy for others experiencing challenges in their lives.
Especially when it’s other people who struggle to stand or speak up for themselves… those who get mistreated in some way because of not being loud or extrovert enough. You might even get frustrated or angry that you or they are made wrong for being how you are but that’s because deep down, you know that of course everyone is different.
You know that yes, some people will be louder and more outgoing and some people will be the opposite and all those different types of personalities should be celebrated rather than judged and looked down on.
We’d all thrive a hell of a lot more – together. Not to say it’s up to other people to make us feel the way we want to feel but it definitely helps when you feel supported and cheered on by others.
So there you have it. There is a good side to you being the way you are and there are, no doubt, many more not just good, but fun, interesting, exciting, surprising, warming things about you too.
To stay in touch and be a part of The Confidence Haven community, click here