You’re minding your own business when all of a sudden you hear it…
First a few whispers and then laughter. Not the burst-out-loud kind of laughing. More like a chuckle between two friends that have shared some kind of private joke.
Only, they’ve been busted.
You eyes quickly glance over at them and you try to decipher exactly what they’re laughing about.
Is something on your face? In your hair?
Is there some kind of hideous mark on your clothes?
Have they just stuck an ‘i’m stupid’ piece of paper on your back like we’re still in school?
What is it… WHAT are they laughing at?
You slightly tilt your head to the side, hoping to hear exactly what it is they’re talking about – what they’re saying about you; about the way you look but you can’t quite make it out. You only catch snippets here and there.
Your heart is now beating that little bit faster and you can feel feelings of anxiety rising and now, you feel embarrassed… silly and you want to hide away.
Woah, hold on!
Your mind just went from relatively calm, shall we say, to the exact opposite in the space of a few minutes WITHOUT knowing the facts.
Ever had a similar kind of experience?
If you can relate, you’ll understand how easy it is to immediately decide what people that you don’t know are talking and laughing about (when you’re not even in on their conversation) and often times, the subject matter is YOU.
They haven’t made it about you… you have. You’ve built up a story inside your own head because what else would they be talking about. Who else could they possibly WANT to laugh about? It must be you despite the fact that there are probably a few other people nearby.
In other words, you’re feeling highly self-conscious and you often worry endlessly about what people think of you so you can’t help making someone else’s conversation all about yourself.
They might be talking about you but they also might NOT be talking about you. How do you even know?
If they aren’t, you’ve just spent however long wasting energy on a false story. Energy that could’ve been used in some other way or not at all.
But what if they were talking and laughing at you, how do you deal with that?
Because sometimes and for whatever reason, they WILL be laughing at you and they may even make it obvious just so you get the point.
It might be because you’ve got something stuck on your clothes or you’ve just walked out the toilet with the back of your skirt not quite pulled down and showing a bit too much. It could be because you’ve got some leftover food stuck to your teeth or you just tripped up (without hurting yourself).
In those types of situations, learn and get used to laughing at yourself. If you can do that, it won’t feel anywhere near as embarrassing plus, it happens to people ALL the time.
Something else to keep in mind is that if you’re just sitting or standing there and nothing much is happening but they’re choosing to have a laugh at your expense, just for the sake of it, then it’s more about them then it is you.
It’s their way of making themselves feel better about something. Something they don’t like about themselves or their lives, only, instead of figuring out how to deal with it themselves, they use you.
When you look at it from that point of view, you can’t help but feel a little bit sorry for them maybe even some compassion at times. So yes, sometimes, you’ll be right, they will be laughing at you. The rest of the time, it won’t be true no matter what you think.
Have you taken the confidence assessment yet? It’ll help you to hone in on the different areas of your life and/or business that may be holding you back. Take it now.